Welfare for All and Taxes for None!

Let us bond together to form a new party in American Politics, the Socialist Libertarians. We shall soon rise to prominence as the biggest emerging force the political landscape has seen in recent years.

We advocate:
1. “Welfare for All and Taxes for None!” We believe that no one should have to pay taxes. Taxes are theft. But hey, everyone can benefit from a little governmental help. So we extend our unequivocal support to all government programs that give us money. Welfare, Social Security, school vouchers, or just plain old free money—you name it, we want it.

2. To finance this revolutionary system, the government must print paper money. Lots of it. As much as is needed, in fact. And then give it to us. This money, instead of being backed by a gold or silver standard, will be backed by a standard of either good intentions or campaign promises. The former, being rare, shall be used if a “strong dollar” economic policy is enacted; the latter, being plentiful, shall be used if a “weak dollar” economic policy is preferred.

3. To offset the concomitant inflation, the government shall engage in widespread price-fixing. It shall finance enforcement of the fixed prices with more paper money. Again, as much as is needed. Throwing money at the problem will undoubtedly solve it.

4. We support war. Whenever possible. We will have good intentions in entering all of them. And we will have huge military spending, to protect our freedoms – freedom from taxes. We will finance these wars with paper money.

Our Symbols:
1.Our color is orange, reflecting our origins in socialism (whose color is red) and libertarianism (whose color is yellow).

2. Our mottos shall be the aforementioned “Welfare for All and Taxes for None” mantra, and also the wise axiom, “Have your cake and eat it too!” Though some have claimed that we misunderstand the purport of the latter phrase, we find it completely in line with our revolutionary ideas (as expressed by our other motto).